ugh...

Lately, I've been feeling down. Don't you hate it when your trying to get your mind off something, and everything you do just gets you back to thinking about that specific thing that bugs you so much that you just want to punch someone? Well... I've been feeling like that ever since Tuesday.

This whole thing is about a boy... A boy that I gave my whole heart out to. My parents don't approve of him, so we kept our relationship a secret. After dating for a year and one month, he started thinking about taking a break. A 3 year break until I'm 18, after I'm done with school and hopefully moved out. We made it official on Tuesday that this break was going to take place on that Tuesday. I really don't feel good about this. I hate having to think about it. I get so mad that sometimes I just want to let go of everything and give up.

I asked him if he'd get with other girls and he said that he can't say that he won't be. That's going to be a really hard thing to deal with, especially when I'm at home and he might be laying over another girl.

It's become so different and awkward between us now. I don't know what to think or say. I hate having to try to be in a good mood, then still have it weird between us. I like change, but in this situation I hate it.

From now on, I'm just going to look forward to the good things and that we might make it through this and still love each other. I hope he still does now.